Because I love you
by Naraxkagura
Summary: Kairi, Riku, and Sora. That's the way it's always been since she arrived. Once Kairi leaves, the boys find themselves enjoying the alone time more than ever before. Rated M: Lemons, slight lang and child abuse RiSo side AkuRoku
1. Chapter 1

Okay. This is the first chapter to my story. I have a TON of this handwritten, and I finally decided to submit it up here, but...I didn't know wherther it was alright or not, so I pulled the first segment out and called it the first chapter...It's kind of slow and cheesy at the beginning, but it gets better as it goes on. Review and tell me what you think. If it's liked, then I'll post more.

**Because I love you**

* * *

"A-are you crying?!"

"Don't cry!"

Giggling, the girl scrubbed tears from her eyes. "Aww, Kairi! It's not like we'll never see you again! It's only the summer!" Sora patted her shoulder, in an attempt to reassure her. "Besides, you'll have a blast!" The silver haired boy flashed one of those smiles that Sora honestly couldn't stand. One of those great big ones that showed all of his 'gleaming pearly-whites'. But, Sora only smiled at her as well. The sun was setting and it was gorgeous, so why not smile?

"Besides, you won't have to look at _him_ for the whole summer." Riku lazily tilted a gloved thumb towards Sora. "HEY! I think it's the other way around!" The spiky-haired boy cried in his own defense. "Aww," Kairi frowned from one boy to the other, "Are you two _still_ in that silly fight?!"

"Why wouldn't we be?!" They both cried in unison, folding their arms across their chest, turning away from one another. "Hey!" The boys yelled, again together, and whipped their heads around to eye each other. "Don't copy me!" Sora demanded, "_You _don't copy _me_!" Riku returned. "Guys…" The forgotten Kairi pleaded. "Sorry…" They said together, ashamed. She smiled gently and giggled, confiscating a lock of Auburn hair behind her ear. "What's so funny?" Asked Riku, on the brink of laughter himself. "Oh it's nothing…You two always get into those silly fights over nothing." She smiled again, "Just promise me, that you two won't fight while I'm away."

They were interrupted by an unnaturally loud blow horn from the boat on the horizon. "Oh…" Kairi began, looking over her shoulder as her grandmothers ship neared. "I guess this is goodbye…" She swallowed, and Sora watched as her eyes glazed with tears, and nodded. "Yeah…" The girl hoisted herself up, onto her tip toes, wrapping her arms around the taller boy's neck, holding for possibly a moment too long. Repositioning herself, she embraced Sora, tightly, getting one last breath of him.

The horn blared again, "I really have to go!" She gave a weak smile, lifting up her luggage, and beginning to walk backwards. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she lifted her bulging bag onto her shoulder. She stopped for only a moment, to get one last picture in her head:

Two boys stood side by side, one taller than the other by about two inches or so. Platinum locks hung down from the taller ones head, reaching slightly past his chin. He had the most amazing eyes- nearly every shade of blue- they had a soft tone to them. The shorter one had soft brown spikes, protruding randomly from his head. He had darker, gentler blue eyes that showed kindness and geniality. Two completely different smiles, each reading the same thing: longing.

Turning away, with a final wave, the farewell bids rang through her hears. She blinked, and in that moment, the picture of the two smiling boys shone through her mind, never to be forgotten.

The two boys stood there, on the shore, for what seemed to stretch on for hours, listening to the waves crash onto the shore and crawl back out. The sun had set and now an eerie, almost disturbing mixture of silence and darkness began to set in. "I guess we'll just have to entertain ourselves for these next three and a half months." Riku's nonchalant voice sliced through the silence like a knife. Sora looked down, pretending to be concerned with the waves, watching them roll in and tumble back out, tripping over themselves. "Yeah...we'll see how much entertaining will be going on. I'm tired, goodnight." And with that, the Brunette turned to the side, trudging down the shoreline, making his way back to his empty house.

* * *

The sun shone in the sky, brilliantly. And from what Sora could see, Riku had already beaten him to their usual spot. '_Eh he he…' _Sora thought to himself, _'maybe this isn't too good of an idea…' _Spinning on his heel, Sora began to walk back towards his house. "Ne! Sora!" _'Auuuugggghhh…' _Sora slowly slid back to his previous position, forcing a rather dry smile. "Hey…" He retraced his steps and started towards the spot where Riku was. "Did ya not see me over here?" Riku asked as Sora finally neared. "He he…Must've missed you." He replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "Uhh…About….Lately…" Sora began, before Riku had time to say anything more. "I'm…." His eyes fell to the ground. He allowed Brown locks to fall before his face, shielding it from Riku's rough gaze. 

Usually, apologizing came naturally to this young man, but for once in his lifetime, Sora felt intimidated. "Sorry?" Riku finished for him. Sora lifted his head to look at Riku. The boy with silver hair was gazing out over the ocean, watching as the endless blue abyss repeated it's never ending cycle. He pretended not to be concerned with the heartfelt apology. Sora couldn't help but allow himself a smirk….a grin….a smile. It was when Riku did things like this, that Sora didn't mind him so much. When Kairi wasn't near…Better yet, when they were alone, Sora didn't mind him in the least. _Alone_. That's exactly what they were right now. "Yeah…Sorry." Sora finally finished for himself. It seemed to go silent for a moment or two, with nothing but the sound of crashing waves and the distant taste of sea salt, and Sora wondered if Riku would accept. And then finally, the moment of truce. Riku turned to face Sora, grinning, he held out his hand, "Accepted." Sora smiled in relief, "Let's not fight for this summer." He said. Sora took Riku's hand, and held in the air, before the sun. "Friends?" He asked. "Friends." Stated Sora.

* * *

_I know this was short, but it was only a sample, just the first two pages of my story...Please review and tell me if it would be a good idea to post the rest of the story. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, here goes with chapter 2. It's quite a bit longer than the first one...But...I still think it goes kind of slow, but, it's getting to the good part. And although I didn't get many reviews, at least I know that it's liked by _someone. _But anyways, I was pleased with the way it sounded when I typed it up and made the corrections...So, here comes chapter 2. Enojoy:DD**

Sora stumbled down the shoreline, making his way to their spot. He had promised Riku a surprise, and although it wasn't much, it was two sea salt ice creams. Their favorite. But as he arrived, Sora observed that Riku was nowhere in sight, so he decided to wait. He sat on the tree, licking the drops of his melting ice cream off of his hand.

"Uh-oh. I hope Riku gets here soon, or his ice cream might melt…" He was disappointed that Riku hadn't arrived on time. He swung his feet with the breeze, listening to the waves, humming a light tune to himself.

"Boo!" All of the sudden, he came face to face, nearly nose to nose with a nice pair of Turquoise eyes. "GAAAACK!" Sora nearly flipped backwards off his previously undisturbed spot on the tree branch. Riku grabbed Sora's wrist, to prevent him from his oncoming demise. After they resituated themselves, Riku teased, "You shoulda seen the look of horror in your eyes!" Pulling Sora towards him by his wrist, which he still clutched onto, he took the thoughtful ice cream and dabbed it on Sora's nose. "What? Did you think I was going to kiss you?!" He made a kissing gesture towards the brown haired boy.

"W-what?!" Sora felt the furnace below his skin ignite. "Why would I think _that_?!" He cried, lowering his head to hide the shameful blush. Riku chuckled, almost scoffing, "I'm only joking with you….So-ra-kun." He wiped the ice cream of the tip of Sora's nose with his thumb. Sora pushed the larger boy away angrily, rubbing the tip of nose in a rough fashion with his sleeve. "Besides, I would never kiss _you_, anyways." He flashed another one of those smiles, sending a chill down Sora's spine.

Riku lapped the melted ice cream running down his forearm. "But, anyways…thanks for the ice cream." He gave Sora a gentler, more realistic smile. "Don't worry about it…" Sora said, sucking on the now bare Popsicle stick. "No really," Riku patted his head, "That was nice." Sora smiled to himself.

* * *

Their feet hung over the side of the tree branch, while Sora and Riku relaxed in the shade. "So….Do you…do you miss Kairi much?" Asked Riku, semi-casually. 

"Mhmm." The brunette nodded.

"Well…at least we have each other." But as soon as the words slipped out, Riku regretted the way they sounded. "I mean…Like…umm…at least we're not completely by…ourselves. Like…we…we have each others company!" He felt his cheeks slightly darken. Why was he getting so flustered? Glancing over from the corner of his eye, Riku noticed that the brown locks were facing the ocean. Sora thought nothing strange of Riku's comment. Riku relaxed. The boy nodded, still looking out over the sea, absent minded. "I know what you mean." Sora confirmed, looking down, remembering the day she had left.

"Looks like it's gonna rain…" Riku had a tone in his voice that caused Sora to tear away from his muses. He turned to look at the older boy, "Yeah, I guess…is something wrong?" Sora could smell the approaching rain in the air, as grey clouds began coating the sky.

"Huh? Oh…Well nothing really. I guess I just don't like the rain much…" He trailed off casually, but again, Sora could sense something was wrong. '_Fear?' _Sora asked himself…_ 'Is Riku afraid?' _Sora had never seen Riku as a vulnerable person with fears, but now it all played together. "Riku...?" He began, "Are you….scared?" Riku turned his head, and two sets of blue orbs locked. The look in his eyes read intimidation. This frightened Sora. Had Riku never spoken with someone about his fear of rain? How silly. "No." He finally replied, "It's just…" He paused. "I just……it's stupid."

"No!" Sora was taken aback by the tone in his own voice and was confused as to why he cared so much. "I mean…I won't think so."

"It makes me feel…sad….and lonely. And the thunder…it frightens me. And…well…while most kids can run to their parents and sleep in the shelter of their arms……I can't. I'm alone." His eyes met Sora's with the most trusting, most vulnerable tinge to them that it was almost unfair. He flashed a weak and shameful smile. All Sora could do was nod. "I understand." He soothed, meeting Riku's smile with a stronger, more confident one.

"Well, you better get home and snuggle up in your bed." suggested Riku, jumping down into the sand. "I mean…before the rain comes. Looks like it'll be a bad storm." He held out his hand, helping Sora down from the tree as well.

"Bye bye!" Said Sora, waving, as they began to walk towards their houses.

"Hey Riku," began Sora, suddenly stopping. Riku looked back over his shoulder to meet Sora's concerned gaze, "Anytime…I mean…like…if…." He looked down at his feet, feeling his cheeks began to heat, "The storm…" Sora continued, getting a hold of his anxiety, "If it ever frightens you…feel free to come to my house." He finished with a large, toothy grin, signaling Riku a thumbs-up.

The silver haired boy stood there for a moment, looking down at the sand. Just as the silence had settled in on Sora, Riku looked up. He smiled one of those close-eyed smiles, one that came from the real Riku. And Sora loved it when he smiled like that.

"Okay." Was all the boy said before turning back around, with the flick of his wrist. Thunder grumbled ominously overhead.

* * *

'_okay…?' _Sora thought to himself as sheets of cool water pelted him. He twisted the knob all the way to the right, until the water was off. 

"O…..kay…" He repeated, hardly aloud. And Riku's sweet smile…..why could he not forget it?

The sound of water sliding off his brown locks and the rough clatter of rain were the only sounds that could be heard, then the screech of the shower curtain as he pulled it aside. A boy materialized before his eyes. "ACCCCCCCCKKK!" Sora felt his heart skip a beat, as he fell forward, out of the tub. To his astonishment, the bathroom boy reached out, grabbing Sora's arm, just in the knick of time.

After a moment, Sora opened his eyes. "Cute butt."

The naked boy blinked as the voice registered in his mind. "RIKU!" He cried, bolting upright, as he did everything in his power to cover what had gone unseen (which wasn't much). The boy with silver hair let out a big, appreciative laugh, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BATHROOM?!...wait…What are you doing in my _house_?" Cried Sora, still attempting to shield his exposed body.

Riku's expressions quickly dropped, along with his eyes. "Remember what you said to me earlier…?"

Sora thought back to the previous events of that day, thunder contently rolled overhead…_**'if it ever frightens you…' **_then…._** 'okay.' **_

That must've been what he was talking about. "Oh…" Sora looked up, with a soft tinge in his eyes. "Well…could you at least go wait somewhere that's…not in here?" Riku chuckled lightly. "Can do." He said with one of those smiles that made Sora cringe on the spot. He turned casually, with a small wave, and just before the door closed behind him, Riku looked back over his shoulder. "You might want to put something on."

Sora blinked, looking down at his uncovered skin, once again, his cheeks enflamed as he slammed the door and tore a towel off the rack in almost one motion.


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright...Here goes chapter 3...I was planning on making it a lot longer, but I didn't have time. So here's chapter 3. I know this chapter is a little pointless but I thought it was cute! There was supposed to be a lot of storyline, but again, I didn't have time. I'll have chapter 4 up either later tonight or sometime tomarrow! I can't wait cause the story is finally beginning to open up!**

* * *

Chapter 3

Rain pattered gently against the glass of Sora's window. Riku stood up. "Well…" He began, "It's getting late. I guess I better get going." Sora looked down at his knees, picking at a strand of carpet. He nodded. Riku turned towards Sora's window, pulling aside the drapes and unlatching the window.

A cool mist of rain swirled in from the darkness.

"Goodnight." And with no more than that, Riku was gone into the night.

"Wait!" Cried Sora, jumping to his feet, holding up a hand in protest.

Silver locks slid back through the window. With a look of confusion, Riku held onto the top of the window frame to keep his balance.

"Yessss?"

Sora's hand slowly lowered as he bit his lower lip, taken slightly aback by the urgency in his tone. "You…you can….should! You should stay here…" He quickly tore his eyes away from Riku. "With me….tonight."

Riku chuckled, smiling. "Okay. If you insist." He replied, with a sarcastic tone. Jumping back into the shelter of Sora's room, closing the window behind him. "I mean…Since you're just dying for my company." His eyes fell upon the silent boy, watching him for a minute. Observing him.

"What?" Sora demanded, "why are you looking at me like that?!" He had a forced, angry sting to his voice

"Nothing." Riku replied after a moment, shaking his head and chuckling yet again.

"What?!" Sora folded his arms angrily across his chest.

His chance to be angry was ruined as comforting fingers ran through his hair, and a warm smile greeted his eyes.

"You're so cute." Riku said, leaning forward and squeezing Sora's cheeks to an almost painful point.

"G-get away!" The pink faced boy cried, pushing Riku's hands away.

"What? I mean…When you try to act all mean...It's cute." He finished, as if that concluded everything.

"I'm not acting!" Sora yelled back in an angry, flustered frenzy.

"Is something burning?" Riku butted in, with an exaggerated sniffing action.

"THE COOKIES!" Sora cried, followed by an overdramatic gasp, "I forgot all about them!" He flailed his arms frantically in the air, and then tore downstairs.

"ASK YOUR MOM IF I CAN STAY!" Riku screamed (probably louder than needed) after him, situating himself onto Sora's bed.

* * *

He lifted his head, shaking platinum strands from his eyes, as Sora nearly tumbled into the room. He arrived with a glass platter balanced in both hands. It was piled high with a pyramid of blackened cookies, as well as a clear glass jug filled to the brim with ice cold milk, and two mugs with little pink bunnies and stubby looking carrots painted on them.

"Woah!" Just as the three top layers of cookies and the jug of milk began their reluctant journey to Sora's carpet, Riku caught the jug of milk and took the platter gently from the smaller boy.

"Clumsy." He scolded, as they both took a seat on the floor beside Sora's bed, Sora on his stomach, Riku cross legged, the platter between the two.

"Do you think it was very safe to leave these in the oven while you were in the shower?!" Riku asked through a mouthful of cookies. They were so painfully burned that he had to take three gulps of milk just to wash them down. And then he realized why Sora had brought an entire jug of milk.

"I know! I'm sorry…I was baking them for you….Because I thought they would cheer you up! But…I was afraid that by the time I got out of the shower I might be too tired to make them." He looked down quickly, shoveling a whole cookie into his mouth.

Riku looked taken aback…Astonished, actually, almost sad, in a way. He looked down as well, "Oh…"

He clearly wasn't used to affection, Sora observed. 'I'll change that...'He found himself thinking. '…I promise…'

"So…Did you ask your mom if I could stay over?" Riku burst into Sora's muses, shaking droplets of milk from a soggy cookie before shoving it into his mouth. Sora thought for a moment, "Uhhh…Just be gone by morning." He answered quickly, almost too quickly…But not enough to raise suspicions.

He reached for another cookie, but instead, was greeted by something warm and comforting closing down over his hand. Simultaneously, the boys looked down. Blinking, Sora felt his cheeks begin to heat up. Riku cleared his throat nervously.

"Y-y-you take it! You had it first!"

"N-no! My hand touched yours!"

"No it didn't! And besides, I've had enough!"

"NO! I've had enough!"

"But, I'm gonna get fat!"

"You need to!"

The strangled words collided into one another's.

In a frantic, Sora picked up the lone cookie, and without a full comprehension on what he was doing, the charred delicacy had somehow managed to slip out of his hand and hit Riku square in the face. No….It had landed in Riku's mouth. 'Did he just catch that in his…mouth? How did he do that?!' The words nearly slipped out of Sora's mouth, but not quite.

"Impressed?"

Sora shook his head, frowning. "No! Anyone could do that."

Riku shrugged, standing up with the now empty platter and such at hand. "Oh. Well I was just thinking…That if you thought that was impressive, you should see what else I can do with my mouth." He winked jokingly, a grossly seductive tone to his voice.

"Riku! You perve!" Sora cried, snatching the dishes angrily from the laughing teen.

"I wasn't the one thinking it…" He replied as they made their way out the door.

* * *

They tip-toed down stairs, peeking around the corner as they arrived in Sora's kitchen. It was a neat little kitchen. Very tidy. Almost too tidy. It was as if someone had far too much time on their hands.

"Remind me, again, why we're tip-toeing." Riku tore into the silence with a loud whisper.

"Just do it." Sora replied.

"Why?"

"Because! If we wake up my mom-if she's home- she'll be angry."

He gently set the dishes down into the sink. Now, if they could only make it back to the stairs without her waking up.

It was a Saturday at midnight. If she was home, she'd be drunk. And, Sora knew that for a fact. But, she had no idea that they had a guest in their house. His mother was an unnaturally light sleeper as it came, therefore, even the slight creak of the stairs, or the clatter of dishes could wake her. Sora was hoping that wouldn't happen though…praying.

'WHAM!' Sora's eyes flew open; something had just slammed into the window, rattling practically the entire kitchen.

"GAAAAAAAHHHHH!" He cried, as a pair of large yellow eyes and two rows of sharp teeth appeared through the opposing side of the glass.

Whirling around on the balls of his feet, Sora screamed, "GO! GO! GOOOO!"

Riku's heart stopped beating in his chest for a moment, before starting back up at an alarmingly fast rate. "Ahhhh!" He cried in response, tripping towards the foot of the stairs. Sora slammed into Riku's back, pushing him up the stairs.

He hopped over the first three stairs, still probing Riku along, "Hurry, we're gonna die!" Sora shrieked. His palms were shoved into Riku's shoulder blades, ensuring a steady…ish pace.

The boy in the lead slammed face first into Sora's door, causing an abnormally loud 'thwack' to emit from it. 'Are doors supposed to be that……painful?!' He sobbed internally.

Pushing him forward, Sora flung the door open and, tried to make his way inside both at the same time. The only problem was that, at that very moment, Riku had begun to turn around to ask Sora what the hell that had been at the window.

And he very soon found himself greatly regretting that move. Why he couldn't wait until they were safely inside to do so, Riku did not know, but he had no more time to analyze himself, due to the fact that his legs were entangled with Sora's and they were both on a trip to the floor.

* * *

_I found the perfect place to end! Okay, be expecting chapter 4 soon!_


	4. Chapter 4

**WOOOH! Chapter 4! Ya...I know I said I would post it sometime yesterday...But...I'm a liar. :) Okay, so heres' the longest chapter yet...I think. It feels like the longest chapter. But, I finally got a chance to introduce Axel and Roxas! w Enjoy! **

**Chapter 4**

Riku opened his eyes.

He felt another heart slamming against his own as a pair of confused blue orbs blinked before him.

"Sora!" He cried in a confused frenzy as realization dawned on him.

He began to sit up, "Nngh…" he grunted, "get off." He used his forearms to force the smaller body off of him.

Riku pulled himself fully into a sitting position, the boy still sitting atop of him.

"S-sorry!" Sora cried, shaking his head side to side furiously. His cheeks were a deep shade of pink.

"It's fine." Riku mumbled, interesting himself in a fluffy purple teddy bear.

"Oh!" The smaller boy said, half to himself. Riku's gaze returned to him.

Sora leaned forward, placing a hand on Riku's chest to hold steady.

Riku's cheeks began to flush, as he sunk down, almost feeling the need to escape.

Riku's hands grew slippery, causing him to lose his grip on the carpet, his hands shooting out from beneath him. He caught himself on his elbows as Sora stumbled forward, causing the two to come cheek to cheek. What was Sora doing? Riku's heart began to pump as he realized he almost….liked the feeling of Sora on top of him.

Simply, a thumb wiped over his cheek. It was a gentle gesture, Sora smiled a wide smile. Giggling, he ran his tongue over the thumb.

"Chocolate." He said, winking, thumb in his mouth.

Riku's jaw dropped, his cheeks grew darker as images began to play through his mind, and he got the urge to do things he never imagined possible for him to want.

"G…GET OFF!" He cried standing up, letting Sora hit the floor.

"Owie, Riku!"

* * *

The boy stood there, his blue eyes distant, as he re-read the same data over and over. Something about it…just something. He couldn't. 

"Roxas." The voice cut through the silence like an angry knife. "You've read that enough times, I don't need to tell you to get it memorized."

Roxas jumped, spinning around to come face to face with a gorgeous pair of Emerald eyes.

"What's been bothering you?"

The unwanted voice filled his ears once more. Before he knew it, Roxas' lips were involuntarily pressed against another set. Ones that were larger, more dominating than his own.

He had done it again. Axel had hit him with one of those kisses that made Roxas' heart pump twelve times faster. One of those kisses that Roxas never wanted to forget. But almost as involuntary as the last thing, he pulled away.

Blue eyes were glued to the ground. How could he possibly look up at that pleading gaze? He knew which one it was. Without even looking. It was the same one that begged for forgiveness after every fight. He felt those same eager lips begin to caress his neck.

"You can't do it, can you?"

Every harshly breathed word sunk into Roxas like an anchor into shallow waters. He raised his eyes to the ceiling. Silence, save for the beeps and hums of the machinery.

The lips pierced his collarbone. And after this it would be all over. This would bring an end to their fight. This would mark the demise of their disagreement.

The same slender, cool fingers slid beneath his shirt. The same fingers that so cleverly found the right spot to make Roxas beg for more.

* * *

He forced his eyelids open. It was a tough move to make, those things were cinder blocks. It had been a rough night of tossing and turning, unneeded thoughts pulsing through his mind. Sora sat up, glancing around his room. Empty. A fresh scent poured in from the open window, Sea salt and overcastted rain. His drapes flapped contently as a gentle breeze fluttered by. The blankets were folded neatly and folded over the back of the rocking chair. The rug was placed perfectly center in his room, almost as if no one had ever been there beside himself. 

Sora stopped dead in his tracks, afraid to budge even in the least. How had he not heard her while he was in his room? _Why_ hadn't he heard her? He bit his lower lip, hand stuck in place on the rail. Ice ran through his veins, his heart was in his throat.

Sora's mother paced back and forth over their overly clean floor, wearing nothing but an oversized T-shirt. She was a wreck. Sora could tell. She would snap at the drop of a hat. _This_ Sora could tell.

'_Please…God…Please, please, PLEASE don't let her turn around...please don't let her turn around and see me._' He prayed to himself.

He dug his nails into the rail as his mother mumbled something to herself, taking things off the counters and discarding them to the floor. This pattern seemed to continue for hours. Pacing, taking, tossing. Pacing, taking, tossing. Pacing, taking, tossing. Before she finally sat down on the littered kitchen floor and began to cry.

This was it. If Sora was going to escape bruiseless this was the moment. He loosened his grip on the rail, but wait. What if he moved his foot and the stair made an incredibly loud squeak and his mother snapped- no shattered- and his mother shattered? She began to heavily sob. That was always a dangerous sign.

But, Sora decided to take his chances. He slowly- _very_ slowly- turned on the ball of his foot as his mothers sobs grew louder yet. 'N_ow!_' He cued himself, taking off, skipping two- no three stairs at a time before reaching his bedroom and barricading himself against his door.

'_Wait for it…_'

There was no way she hadn't heard that.

"SOOOORRRRAAAA!"

He wished he could close the window. He truly did. That way, everyone could enjoy their nice day and not enjoy what he was graced with. But if he moved, his mother might decide to come bounding up the stairs.

* * *

_I hope that wasn't confusing! I don't know when chapter 5 will be up. I'm not saying tomorrow, but that's likely since I have nothing to do all day. _

_Okay, that part with Axel and Roxas was not Sora's dream. That was what was happening with Axel and Roxas at the moment. Then it switches back over to what's going on with Sora._


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay...I keep on saying that I'm going to update the next day, but I don't. So, let's just say I'm updating every other day...Except who knows I _might_ update tomorrow. Oh, yea, and I'd like to thank everyone who has been following my story so far. Thanks for all of your great criticism. Except, when I say criticism, I don't mean pointing out simple little words that I may have mispelled. I'm not being rude, but if I spell one thing wrong, please don't hound me about it..I don't really appreciate that. But, yes...thanks to everyone, especially Terranei Parker and Riku-stalker. Not that I don't appreciate all the other reviewers, but those two have been very generous with their reviews. **

**Anyways...Enough with my rambling! Here is chapter 5! I really liked the way this one turned out when I typed it up and edited it, so here it goes! This one is definatly longest so far!**

**Chapter 5 **

The silver stream of moonlight bathed Riku to an almost angelic extent. He couldn't go home. Not now.

Tonight was the 2 year anniversary of his parents' deaths. But tonight, that wasn't the only thing on his mind.

_Sora._

He hadn't seen traces of him all day, something had to be wrong.

The cool nighttime breeze felt good on his face, though.

Riku stopped. '_Should I or should I not?_' His only reply was the sound of crashing waves and the occasional ruffling of leaves.

"Sora…" He whispered, unable to divert his gaze from the open window…from the content sway of the light blue drapes. They never seemed to stop their happy little dance. No matter what went on around them, they swayed. Just like Sora.

Riku smiled to himself, staring into Sora's window still. He always did that. Every night. As if one day, he could see right into Sora's room and see him staring back. But he never could.

He decided he would go. Besides, what harm could it do?

* * *

Sora's soft moans were muffled by his pillow. His shoulders shook with every sob. 

"Why…? When…W-when will this end?"

But he knew, the real question was, when had this begun? When had this all gone _so _wrong?

His grip on the pillow loosened. It hurt to press it against his collar bone, even being as soft as it was.

Sora's temple still throbbed, and his uncontrollable sobbing wasn't helping to ease the pain.

His mother had gotten in. He had tried-oh how he had tried- to keep her out. He had dug whatever there was of his fingernails into either side of his door frame, and jammed his heels into his carpet with such a force it had been painful. But he had budged…he had shifted his weight in a way that had allowed his mother to throw herself against his door and knock it open. The door had slammed into his shoulder blades, causing him to fly forward.

And although it was all sort of a blur, he remembered her pulling him to his knees, not by his arm, but by a fistful of his pretty brunette locks.

Why yes. He could remember that much.

Next thing he had known was that his left shoulder blade had collided into his wall with an unnaturally loud thud. It hurt. Oh, how it hurt.

Following that, was Sora feeling the top half of his body being pulled backward by an extremely painful yank to his hair. And then _'Wham!' _His temple and left side of his collarbone had smashed into the wall, only this time harder. Hard enough to leave a slight dent.

Then he had faintly, oh so faintly, recognized the familiar feeling of his body being pulled back one last time. And then another seemingly dull thud as his body rammed into his wall a final time.

More pain had come next. Excruciating pain. And then….something he couldn't quite recall…death…? No…it couldn't have been death…he had still been in pain…in agony.

Blackness. That's what had come next. And then it was all over.

He set the pillow to the side; his cries had almost completely subsided. He didn't cry so much out of hurt…he cried out of anger…and out of betrayal.

Ever so lightly, Sora brushed the tips of his fingers over the blotchy green bruise that was beginning to form over his left shoulder and part of his collarbone. He dared not touch his swollen temple or busted lip.

And then he wondered what it would be like to have no parents…like Riku. What was Riku doing now? Had Riku worried about him…or even thought about him? Probably not. But why did that matter? It didn't.

And then, as if to contradict all of Sora's thoughts, there was a soft tap at the window.

He whipped his head around, jumping slightly at the sudden disturbance.

'_Riku…?_'

He hurriedly stumbled forward, unlatching the window and nearly hitting Riku with it, through his angst.

"Riku!" he cried in a loud whisper, pulling him into his room by his wrist.

Moonlight poured in, illuminating the two. It was a beautiful thing, Sora found himself thinking, having Riku so close to him…almost protecting him.

But before he had time to think further-before either of them had time to think further- the older boys warm, gentle hands were cradling Sora's face with an angelic delicacy.

"You're….you're hurt, Sora."

'_How does he know that?! ...can he see my bandages?_'

The brunette felt blood begin to paint his cheeks. And for a moment, only one moment, he stopped breathing.

Their faces so close…They had been this close before so why was he choosing to react now.

No…this time was different. They had never been close like _this_ before.

His thumb stroked Sora's swollen cheek delicately.

"Who...who did this to you?" Riku swallowed, forcing himself to finish the question. "Who hurt you?" He was examining the injuries closely, now.

"Nnn…" More heat flushed his cheeks. Riku was…worried?

"Uhh…" His heart began to pound.

He set his hands atop of Riku's. There was a look in the boys Aqua eyes that Sora couldn't quite place through the moonlight.

"It…" He breathed, barely above a whisper. "It was me…I did this."

Riku's jaw dropped. He pulled the flushed face closer to him, "What? You?"

Sora's eyes fell to the window. To the huge moon that hung carelessly over the black ocean depths.

He slowly pulled Riku's hands from his cheeks, his eyes flickering to meet Riku's for only a brief second before resetting themselves on the window.

"I…I fell down the..." He was unforgivably lying to Riku, "down the stairs." He finished quickly, tearing himself away from Riku's astonished gaze, plopping himself onto his bed.

Riku knelt down before the younger boy.

"You're so clumsy…you need to be more careful." He scolded, spotting a first aid kit beneath Sora's bed and retrieving it.

'_Why does he keep one under here…?_'

"Here…" He soothed, removing Sora's shirt and beginning to strip him of his poorly applied bandages.

"Let me fix you up."

* * *

_Lalalala there we go! I hope you enjoyed this chapter cause I sure did! Be expecting chapter 6...sometime that I don't know yet! xp_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Okay, so I'm updating sooner than thought:D Yaaayy! Well…I never thought I would get this far, but here's chapter 6. Wow…This is everything that I have handwritten…I guess it just looked like a lot more since I write big…Well, since Axel and Roxas are coming into the story, I thought I would devote a whole chapter to them…Woot! Well…This is rather depressing…I'm good at sad things so I guess this is my specialty! I hope y'all don't mind the AkuRoku thing, because if you do…you should've read the summary. Here we go!**_

**((Cough cough….reviews DO so happen to make the world go round, and if someone tells you otherwise, then they were lying. : ) But, I'm really not trying to be stingy or conceited, but would it **_**really**_** kill you to click 'Go' and then type in a friendly little message and then click 'submit'? I just find it a little weird that I keep on getting all of these messages that say people have added me to their alert list and their favorite stories/authors and I get no review…but hey, that's just me. I'm not being rude in anyway, I'm just saying that it would be nice…Puppy dog eyes)) **

**Chapter 6**

He was sure someone would hear if he kept this up much longer. His knuckles had grown raw, they were almost bleeding. But he couldn't stop. No he couldn't. Not now. There were far too many emotions coursing through him right now. Far too many for him to stop. Anger…sorrow…fear…regret. All too painful for him to stop.

The spot on the wall had now become Axel's face…his lovers face.

He punched and punched and punched until his anger subsided, or mostly until he had grown tired. Tired of pretending that punching Axel's face over and over and again and again every night would make this game stop. This sick game…this sick _twisted _game that they played with each other.

But the game would not stop. Oh _no _it wouldn't. It would not stop until someone put a stop to it. But, neither of them would, more, neither of them _could. _Because they both knew, oh how they knew, that it had died. It had died forever ago, but neither of them would think, even consider that.

And now, it was time for the tears, the same unwanted tears that spilled every time. He would try to fight them, but they would come anyways.

Because they always did when it came to Axel.

He was shaking now, trying to hold in the tears…'_Please don't cry…you can't._' Here they came…The overwhelming guilt and sorrow that confided him.

It ached, his chest did. And with the pressure of one hundred boulders, he began to cry…to sob.

His shoulders shook with each outcry, he ground his teeth into his hand to try and muffle them, or more to try and slow them.

'_Calm yourself…_' If he didn't, he would send himself into a panic attack.

He wasn't going to lose Axel…he couldn't.

The copper taste of blood began to seep over his tongue. Clutching the place where his heart would have been, he allowed more overwhelming sobs to wrack him.

"Why…." The word was barely plausible through his fist. He began to hyperventilate, '_You're doing this to yourself, Roxas._' He shook his head violently, clamping his hands down over his ears and curling himself into a ball. '_Just admit it to yourself…it'll make you feel better._' He bit his lower lip, his chest heaving in and out with each sob…each moan.

* * *

The door clicked gently behind him. Although at this particular time, on this particular night, the gentle click was not such a gentle click, but more of a fierce, _'ka-boom'. _

But that was normal. His senses were amplified, as always, because at this point, Axel was _alive _to his fullest. Adrenaline pumped through his veins. Why wouldn't he be alive? He had yet again contributed to the slow, steady demise of his lover's heart.

He stood before his bed, calm and collected is what his face read.

No, he hadn't…he would never do such a thing. He would _never _break Blondie's heart. Not _his_ little Blondie. Not his sweet…innocent…mother _fucking_ Blondie.

A loud '_whip-whap' _sound echoed through his ears. There went his sheets. He clawed at his bed, making sure to strip of every last article, throwing them behind him with such great force that it made a slight _'whomp'_ noise as it collided with the wall behind him.

He would _NEVER _break, or crunch, or shatter, or splinter _his _Blondie.

They were moving of their own accord now, his feet were. He arrived before his desk, a twisted glaze in his once lively eyes. He could hear the sobs beginning in the room in the room next to his now. The dull punching thuds had ceased, and the crying had begun.

But surely, _he_, Axel, wasn't the one being held responsible for those tender cheeks being stained red. No sir. I mean, who would ever make sweet little Blondie cry?

Hands slowly met the desktop. Slowly but surely, they met the cool, slick wood.

No one would, that's who. Not that sweet innocent little Blonde.

And now the polar opposite of slowly but surely. Like the crack of a whip, pencils, papers, books, folders…it was all scattered around the room, every which way. The same old noises as every time…the same old noises after every fight. Except for one. One extremely unsettling noise that tore the air right from Axel's lungs. The sound of glass…shattering glass. There was only one thing glass that had been on the desk. The only thing that meant anything.

Down came the drapes, along with the curtain rod. Rage. That was the only thing he felt. Seething rage. Against himself.

"DAMMIT!" He roared, tearing drawers from his dresser, throwing clothes across the room. He slammed his fist into the wall with a _'wham'_ that rattled his windowpane.

Axel fell to his knees. More like sunk to his knees in defeat.

* * *

There was a light tapping. So light, it could hardly be recognized as a knock. Then the gentle click of the door opening. After a moment, the gentle click of the door again. Gentler this time, as if one had twisted the door knob to spare himself that extra _'click'. _After another dragging moment, the slight shuffling of feet.

Locks of fierce red hair were weaved between Axel's fingers in tight fists. His forehead propped against his up-pulled knees, adverting his gaze from whomever it was that had entered.

He had no need to guess.

There was a slight whoosh of air as a smaller body knelt beside him. Axel's fists tightened his entire body tensing.

Nimble arms tried their best to lock themselves against broad shoulders.

Silence hung heavy over the two. Not even the sound of breathing could be heard.

The bodies remained pressed together a moment longer before separating.

And then Roxas began his labor. He began to re-make the bed, moving slowly…in a well adapted rhythm. Tucking the sheets…Folding the blankets…Fluffing the pillows. Folding the clothes, creasing each article perfectly. Re-setting each drawer into its appropriate spot. Placing each pen into its appropriate plastic cup. Stacking each paper into its appropriate pile.

He stopped. He had been expecting this, so it didn't hurt as badly when his fingers hovered over the splintered wooden picture frame. The actual frame was in O.K. shape. But, the glass was shattered, the picture torn. In it; Axel's lips were puckered in an over dramatic state, like in a cartoon, lingering over a peaceful, unsuspecting Roxas as he napped.

It was cute, and could always make Roxas smile. It reminded him of the happy times.

He picked it up, trying to avoid cutting himself.

Slowly, he made his way to the sitting boy. He knelt. Setting it down with extra care at Axel's feet.

Nothing. No response. He dared not speak, though.

Roxas swallowed, gently nudging the picture a little closer to his lover.

Still no response. And Axel knew, oh he knew _damned _well, that if Roxas didn't get a reaction, he would lose it.

But right now, he didn't _want _to please Roxas. Why would want to please someone that made you hurt every time you look at them?

But, his body willed him to please that person. So he did. He reacted.

The sound of skin against skin echoed through the room, through the whole castle it seemed. And to Roxas, that was the first real sound of the hour. He felt no pain as his head was forced into the other direction. No pain. Only relief.

Axel was still with him. And although his cheek was numb, Roxas' nimble fingers met the red blotch, stroking it.

This was the first time Axel had physically hurt him. It almost came as a relief to him. He liked physical pain far better than the pain he usually felt.

He blinked, and suddenly his eyes were stinging again…why was he crying?

A large hand greeted his shoulder, tearing Roxas around to face a tired, empty and astonishingly teary-eyed Axel.

He let out a wavering breath as he was pulled forward and two pairs of weary lips met.

Roxas didn't breath. He didn't want to. Because, whenever they kissed, he could pretend everything was alright.

But, he pulled away, to meet Axel's emerald gaze, his eyes glassy with tears.

Lifting his hands, Roxas softly placed them on the older boys face.

"Plea…" It came out as a husky whisper, "Please don't……" He swallowed, biting his lower lip.

Axel whimpered, his lips trembling. He _needed _to cry.

Roxas wouldn't look. So he leaned forward, gingerly wrapping his arms around Axel's neck.

He began to sob again.

And at first, Axel did nothing. But then, he pulled Roxas into his lap, holding him tightly to his body, not wanting to let go, and began to cry slow, quiet sobs.

Sobs for them, and what was left.

* * *

_AHHHHHHH! Sorry. That was depressing…Well, there was a whole, really long, AkuRoku chapter. And, I hate to say it…but, they're my favorite part of this whole fic…Yeah, and from here on out, the storyline gets rather sad…so just a heads up. Please do not hate me for this chapter! I don't know whether it sounds alright or not, but I was trying to describe their situation to the best of my ability. Please make sure to review on this chapter and tell me if it sounded okay, because I'm feeling really insecure about it. KTHANKS._


	7. Chapter 7

_Okay. I know this took me FOREVER to get up…but my internet was down because it got struck by lightning and we just got it fixed…UGH. This would have been up earlier today besides the fact that TWICE. NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE I typed this freaking chapter up and even though I saved it, some stupid Error pop-up popped up and exited and DELETED my chapter!!! UGGGGGHHH I am so angry right now! Okay…well at least it's typed up now…………so, I hope you enjoy this one, because I really loved it!_

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Silent.

It was so damn _silent_.

Every step...every movement he made was so loud against _all that silence._

As he slid beneath those covers, into that warm bed…next to that warm, accepting haven, it was still _so loud_.

Sora wouldn't mind, would he? He wouldn't mind if Riku explained to him how hard or how cold that floor was. And if he explained how sad he had felt…how _utterly alone._

Surely Sora wouldn't mind if he explained that to him, right?

But none of that really mattered now.

He slid into the bed, trying not to move too vividly.

It felt good. Better than the floor had felt. But still, Riku could not sleep.

He turned his head to the left, his weary gaze resting on the sleeping brunette.

"Sora…" He whispered, the name barely escaping his lips.

Leaning over, he slowly- ever so slowly- brushed a troublesome lock of hair from the boys' peaceful, swollen face.

The injuries made him cringe. Had Sora really fallen down the stairs?

It felt as if someone were squeezing his heart…although it looked so painful, Sora looked so peaceful…so beautiful…his lips so contently resting against each other. They weren't _pressed _closed, they were simply…closed.

And suddenly, Riku found himself closer to the boy than he had ever intended He was overcome with the urge to press his lips to Sora's. _Hard_.

And again, oh so suddenly, his hands were on either side of Sora's head. Oh how he wanted those soft, innocent lips against his own.

He unconsciously lowered his face, hardly an inch from the sleeping one. Warm, even breath pulsated over his cheeks. "Sora…" He repeated, allowing his eyes to dart over the boy's gentle face. His beauty was almost overtaking. "Kiss me…." He breathed, leaning closer. No response but an uncomfortable shift from the boy below.

Only a centimeter separated the two. Riku lifted his leg, slowly, trying not to make any noise. Still ever so slowly, he set his knee on the other side of Sora's hip, pinning him down.

"Kiss me…..now." His breath came out in hot spouts. And suddenly, there was no space, no gap, no anything between the eager lips and the unsuspecting ones.

At first he felt nothing. No satisfaction…nothing. What the hell was he thinking, anyways? But then…"Nngh…" and there was something there he could actually feel.

* * *

Warmth. That was all he could feel.

'_Riku…?_'

No…this was only a dream…right? He didn't know, but the warmth felt so good. He leaned into it, allowing it to engulf him.

This seemed to be a…rather _vivid_ dream. Until there was a slight sting to the left side of his lower lip………dreams didn't hurt.

His blue eyes ever so slightly flickered open to reveal two sheets of thin Silver locks hanging down, to shield either side of someone's face….who was that person? …An angel?

Aqua eyes were stained an almost equal shade of silver by the moonlight.

"Riku!" Sora cried, tearing their lips apart. He gasped, sitting bolt upright, his hands creating a gap between them.

"R-Riku!" He stammered, dumfounded, "What the hell are you doing?!"

The once hazy, moonlit eyes were now lively, with an astonished largeness to them.

Riku leapt backwards, to the foot of the bed, still surprised and confused by what had just occurred.

"I…I…I have no idea…" He stood, slowly making his way to the window, his eyes never once leaving the frightened brunette. "I'm sorry………….I-I'm leaving."

Sora still didn't dare to speak. Even as a cool midnight breeze slid in through the now ajar window, and a startled, confused Riku slid out.

He couldn't even manage to choke out a simple, "Wait."

But he _could_ manage to sit there and blink, lifting his fingertips to the tender, violated lobes of his lips. He was shaking all over, his heart still racing. What had just happened, Sora was having trouble comprehending. He forced the lump in his throat down, his tongue and mouth dry.

Why was he so flustered? That…kiss………whatever it was, it must not've been on purpose or at least not a fully conscious action… the look in Riku's eyes…he didn't mean to do it, right? If not, then why _was _he feeling this way?

* * *

_Woooowww...I hope that didn't suck too bad. DDx I thought it sounded okay. And yes, I'm sorry for not getting it up sooner! I hope it wasn't too short...I'll post again sometime soon_


	8. Chapter 8

****

**Chapter 8**

What was that? What had happened? Firstly, he had felt lonely. Oh so very lonely. Then, he had slid into Sora's bed…he had, hadn't he? Next was…innocence, beauty, _god_, the overwhelming beauty…and those lips, those tender, sweet lips. And how he had wanted…needed…lusted for them. And all else was blank except that……that he had gotten them. No, he had seized them. He had seized in a way that had spilled out of him with an uncontrollably heated passion.

And he wanted them again.

* * *

He just laid there. Yes, that's what he did. He laid there with his arms behind his head, pondering. Pondering whether to go downstairs and face either of his mother's bipolar personalities, or whether to crawl out of his still open window and down to the beach to face the awkward, heavy lingering conversations with Riku.

Yes, his window remained open. He hadn't thought to close it. The only thing he had actually _thought_ to do was chase after Riku. But after laughing and briskly pushing that conflict of his mind away, Sora had only thought to sleep.

And eventually, after fighting off the anxiety that crept over every nerve in his body, he had, despite his restlessness, fallen into a much needed slumber.

But now, he was up, and although the sun was shining warmly into his room, the anxiety was back.

He nibbled gently on his lower lip, and when the slightest pain emitted, he remembered his unattended injuries. He needed to get up and check on those. If only Riku were here to help him…

Those astonished Turquoise orbs…that confused tone…

Riku wouldn't be back. No, he wouldn't.

Sora felt terrible. Not even a simple, "Wait." could he mutter.

But despite his uneasiness, he found his legs tossing themselves over the side of the bed. Despite his tiredness, he found fingers forcing the bathroom light switch upwards. And, despite the dark circles beneath his crystal blue eyes, he found his hands removing the removing the loose bandages from his body.

Sora stroked the blotchy green-purple bruises, trying to ease the pain.

After a moment, Sora, as always, went to work. _Twisting, wrapping, tearing. Twisting, wrapping, tearing. _Until his painful reminders were almost completely out of sight.

Sora stood there for a moment, examining himself in the mirror. He looked unhealthy. He had dark circles beneath his eyes, and his features in general were a lot less lively than they had been in his previous years. Especially his eyes. Once bright blue and gorgeous, now stained with sorrow and loss.

Three years ago he had not only lost his father and his unborn brother, but his mother as well. And most of all, he missed her. It was agonizing knowing that her body still remained but she didn't. Sometimes he would pray himself into oblivion, convincing himself that in the morning he would wake up, and she would be back.

But she never did.

It hurt, because he still had one memory of her that would never abandon him, "_Don't worry, sweetie. No matter what, mommy promises she'll never leave you._ _You know you can always come to her when you're scared, or sad, or angry." _Then she had smiled like she used to always do. Sora had thought that she had looked so pretty when she smiled like that. And she still did.

He remembered Riku's face. It still looked so nice, even after everything he had been through…so pleasant to look at…so gentle. It had looked especially nice last night, bathed in the soft silver light.

His lips seemed to pulsate with every passing second of the recollection. The warmth he had felt pressed against him…it had seemed to overtake his entire being. His lips burned with want.

"_Kiss me." _

Had Riku said that? …demanded it?

He could almost remember those words reaching him…_almost_.

He wanted to see Riku again…to see that face again. But no worries…He would stop by soon…right?

No, actually, Riku missed him _so much _that he was already waiting in Sora's room. And when Sora walked in, he would scoop him into his arms and kiss him over and over. And over. And then everything would return to normal.

Disregarding the want to brush his teeth, Sora padded out of his bathroom, down the hall. Each step, each breath…each rapid heart beat echoing over and over in his ears.

Riku wanted to see Sora as bad as Sora wanted to see Riku. Therefore, he'd be sitting there…waiting to see him.

That was the way it always worked. Sora was sure.

Even as his heart pounded, he was sure. Even as the cool metal seemed to burn through his hand, he was sure. Even as his wrist twisted to open the door, he was sure. And even as the wooden barrier that kept him from Riku swung lazily aside, he was ever so sure.

* * *

_K there. That was quick and easy. I'll post up chapter 9 in a couple of days...geez...I can't believe I've gotten 8 chapters out of this so far...it's amazing. _


	9. Chapter 9

**_Since it took so long, I now present you with my longest chapter yet. I couldn't leave it with just AkuRoku so I threw in some Sora and Riku...I was originally going to do a full lemon of Axel and Roxas but I was trying so hard to make it angsty and I just couldn't do it! So I gave up half way through. Hangs head shamefully Alas, Sora saved me and then I found an oppurtunity to throw Riku in and then, Wa la! AkuRoku inspiration came forth once again! DDX that's why it took so long...I was gonna update on Love the skin you're in...But I haven't written enough to do a full chappy so I decided to do this. Okay. Enough with me already, enjoy! _**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

"Rox…" Axel breathed, closing the door behind him. Roxas stood up from his previous spot on the redhead's bed. He knew what Axel was trying to say without even having to hear it. "It's okay…" Roxas whispered, stepping forward to embrace the taller man.

"You know, we have to…have to go on that mission soon. We've prolonged it as much as we can." Axel whispered, pulling the boy in closer.

Roxas sighed, taking in Axel's scent. It was rare that they got time like this together. Roxas liked it. "I know…"

The words barely escaped him as an all too familiar pair of lips engulfed him. This was the way it always went. After every fight. This was a way that, Roxas assumed, Axel could make himself feel better about their once happy relation ship.

How could he have fooled himself into thinking this wouldn't happen?

Roxas allowed the same cool, slender fingers to tear his shirt above his head with zero hesitation. He dared not protest, being unsure of Axel's mood.

* * *

His large hands slid down Roxas' hips, feeling, groping, taking in every inch of the skin. Axel's eyes quickly flicked to his digital clock. 12:47 am. 

Perfect. The exhilaration was amplified significantly when people's beauty sleep was at stake.

His hands left Roxas' body only for a split second to allow a fist to slam into the spot on his stereo where the 'play' button most likely was.

"_I am stricken and can't let you go! When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know__…" _He smirked as the middle of 'Stricken' filled his speakers, his ears, and his room.

Forcefully, he shoved Roxas backwards onto his bed, hastily tearing off his own shirt in the process.

For a brief second, he stood there, examining the beauty of what was his, and what would be his for as long as they could keep this lifestyle up, before throwing himself at the foot of the bed.

Wanting to rid Roxas of those awful pants of his, he began to unfasten them. He stopped…on second thought… He stood up, flying to his dresser; he quickly tore through the contents of his top drawer before turning back around, a satisfied look on his face.

* * *

Roxas' eyes widened when Axel returned to the bed, spinning on his index finger something that Roxas made out to be a pair of handcuffs. 

"Ax-" He protested until he was cut off by the weight of a body pouncing on top of him and another groin rubbing eagerly against his own. A pair of fierce lips smashed into his, taking Roxas' breath away. He bit onto Axel's lower lip- only hard enough to encourage him.

Axel grinned, grinding his unnaturally thin hips into Roxas' before forcing both arms above the boys head and looping the chain of the handcuffs into an opportune space in the headboard. He clamped the things around Roxas' wrists.

The room seemed to fall into a deathly silence for the three seconds that it took for the CD to change tracks before the bass pounded its way back into his ears. It was so loud Axel almost thought his window pain was slightly rattling.

He dragged a single finger Roxas' chest, tracing his nicely developing muscles. The muscles that would be shown off to him and him only.

He lowered his head as something caught his eye. Something that he knew would make Roxas squirm.

His tongue slid out, to ever so slightly ghost over the tip of one of Roxas' nipples. The tiny bud quickly conformed, tightening and hardening itself against the clever touch.

Axel snickered, seeing as to how Roxas wanted more; he ran his tongue over the entire nipple, teasing it between his teeth.

"Nnn…" Axel raised his eyes to examine the boy's blissful expression, before sitting up and forcing an index finger into Roxas' welcoming mouth. He drug the saliva soaked finger over the tip of the opposing nipple, watching in amusement as it immediately perked into his hand.

"You like that, hmm?" He whispered, rubbing his ever hardening self over Roxas once again.

Roxas allowed himself to be overtaken by the larger body above him. This was the only time he ever felt fully secure with Axel anymore… Whenever he was beneath him, being fucked senseless. Because he knew that that after it was all over, they could both go on pretending everything was okay.

He nodded in response to Axel's obvious question.

* * *

Sora stood there, blinking. Because he was sure that Riku was hiding somewhere in his room. He was _sure_. 

He lunged forward into the quarters, turning in circles, leaving no crevice unexamined. He ran over to his window, digging his nails into the pane. Throwing his head out, his eyes scanned the soft brown sands for any traces of the boy.

None. His heart sank and his he closed his eyes. Sora clutched at his chest, why was he feeling this way?

"Riku…" He needed to know. He needed answers before he could look at his best friend the same way ever again.

"Sora!" His mother called from downstairs. He froze every muscle in his body tensing. "Sora, I need to talk to you! Come down here sweetie!"

That was the way it always began. But he couldn't move, yet alone speak. He had lied to Riku the last time. He wouldn't do it again. Suddenly, he found that his body was able to work again.

Clearing his throat, he finally replied, "Coming mom…"

* * *

Riku blinked down at the white, chalked on, aging work of art. He knelt, placing his hand on the wall, just barely allowing his palm to hover over the stone. He could remember the day Sora presented it to him perfectly. He had laughed when he saw it. 

"_You're so bad at drawing, Sora!" _Sora had laughed too... Along with him. Kairi hadn't been there, and they had once again, found themselves alone.

Riku found the corner of his lips twisting upwards…almost into a smile. He wanted so badly to smile again. Like he had that day so many years ago.

He didn't really want to touch it, the drawing. Because if he did, he was afraid that one of his most pleasant memories would be tainted.

In the picture, a very shakily drawn Sora and Riku were standing side by side, arms out as if they were holding hands. But there was a gap between their hands where the last thing that was missing should have gone.

Riku grabbed an old, weathered down rock. Quite possibly the same rock that had brought this drawing into the world in the first place. It was still durable enough for one last go, Riku thought as he lifted the speckled fragment to the stone wall and began to draw the faintest outline of a star.

* * *

"Nnn! Unnnnnn……Ah-Ah-AXELLL!" 

Axel smirked, his nails biting into Roxas' hips with an almost desperate force. He bucked his hips forward and backward ceaselessly in sync with the music, never once missing a beat. "Guh…guh….guh…" He grunted, gasping between pants.

Roxas' shoulder blades smashed into the headboard with every merciless slam that was implanted into his body. He was sure that everyone within a 10 mile radius could hear them, but still, he had no intentions of quieting down.

"Fuck! Ahhh….Rox….assssss!" Axel moaned before internally frowning as he picked up speed. He was off beat now.

The entire bed rocked along with them. Roxas writhed into the unfair clutches of the handcuffs, letting out an involuntary cry each time his body collided with the wood.

But despite all his discomfort, he still felt…safe.

"Ax…Ax…Axel!" He gasped, "I'm….I'm…gon….gonna...come- Ahhh!" He threw his head back, gasping so sharply that it almost hurt.

"God…Ahhhh….Fuck, Rox!" Axel literally screamed, his muscles spasming tightly as Roxas clamped down around him and sheet after sheet of overwhelming pleasure crashed over him, knocking him oblivious to everything _but_ pleasure.

After a moment, everything fell silent as, for the umpteenth time, the CD changed tracks.

Roxas cracked his eyes open before becoming even a little bit aware of his surroundings. Aware that his back was arched so far off the bed that his only his shoulders and feet remained pressed into it. Aware that his thighs literally had a coat of sticky sweat clinging to them. Aware that his heart was pounding so fast that he was sure it would never be steady again. Aware that his and Axel's lower abdomens were covered in a thick sheet of whit, bitter liquid. But over all, aware that everything would return to normal now. Their relationship would go back to being the same seemingly flawless one.

* * *

Sora arrived at the foot of the stairs, his hand glued to the railing. He forced the lump in his throat down as his mother beckoned for him to come near. 

He feet simultaneously began to move, obeying the horror that stood before him.

"Yes?" He fought to keep a straight face. To show no worry, no doubt, no fear.

"What…is _this_?!"

* * *

_Mmkay. I left yuh with a cliffy. That's all I have handwritten! D: So I must go write! And I need to write more on Love the skin you're in cause I'm gettin close to having enough for a chapter, and plus it's about time for me to update. Lol, and excuse my kinky handcuff sex...I couldn't help myself. _


	10. Chapter 10

**_I know. This took me a million years. But this chapter's freaking long! I'm gonna start making my chapters really long since I'm sorta ripping you guys off by making you wait so long... Lol I don't really have anything to say. So here, enjoy._

* * *

**

**Chapter 10**

Sora blinked up at a silver glinting object, trying to comprehend what it was. He thought for a moment on what to answer. He couldn't say the wrong thing, his mother was angry.

Uh oh…This wasn't a normal type of angry. The look in her eyes warned him to retreat into survival mode. This was going to be a long day.

"A…a…a spatula…" his voice came out as a small, whimpering squeak.

Oh no, that was the _wrong_ thing to say. _Wrong_. His mother's eyes enflamed and she lunged forward.

The brunette flinched, barely able to go against his instincts to keep himself from jumping backwards.

His body was jerked to the side and the sickening '_crack_' of a metal of some sort meeting Sora's cheek echoed through his kitchen.

He felt the familiar sting of tears as they rushed to his eyes and his skin swelled.

"Right." His mother said coldly, digging her nails into his arm and pulling him to their counter. She slammed his hands onto the marble, offering her access to the tender flesh. "Can you tell me what's _wrong_ with this spatula, Sora honey?"

He whimpered before shaking his head.

She smirked, holding the metal utensil before his face. He recognized the faint brown mark of burned food that probably hadn't gotten a thorough enough cleaning in the dishwasher.

Riku smiled softly, stepping back to examine his work.

He wanted to go see Sora so badly, but even the thought of having to face him made his heart speed up.

How could he possibly look at him the same ever again?

Riku held his chest. It hurt. And his stomach. He felt sick.

Sora must hate him. Riku could understand that, completely, one hundred percent. Hell, he would hate him too if he were Sora. He had no right at all to violate the boy's personal space.

Actually, Riku was _praying_ that Sora would hate him… He wanted him to so bad. But, he knew that the kid didn't have it in him.

Sighing, Riku knew he had to go see Sora and at least _try _to straighten things out even a little.

He would just have to let his heart pound and his stomach turn and his head spin. It was worth their friendship…

"Oh you can't, can you?" Again, the revolting sound of metal against Sora's precious, creamy skin rang through the air except more than once now. Several times, actually. Once on his previously unharmed cheek, and four times on each of his outstretched hands. Each crack delivered with a bruising force.

This time Sora couldn't hold back his yelps of displeasure. His eyes burned with the familiar sting of tears, "Ma…mom…" He whimpered.

"_KEEP YOUR LAZY ASS MOUTH SHUT!_" She cried, as this time, the spatula fell over his lips, crushing them with its blindingly painful force. He squealed a mixture that was most likely supposed to be a cross of either the word "Mom" or "Ow". He subconsciously shielded his face.

"_CAN YOU NOT UNDRESTAND WHAT I'M SAYING?!_" She proceeded to repeatedly bring the utensil down over various places on Sora's arms, mostly his hands, until the skin was raw and raised with welts.

He couldn't help but let out a sob as tears spilled over his burning, swollen face. He screeched with each and every throbbing smack.

"_SHUT THE FUCK UP!_" A sickening grin spread across her features, adding an especially twisted glimmer to them.

"Now…" She whispered, lowering her lips to his ear so that her breath came out in grotesque, hot spouts across his neck.

Sora obeyed her previous command, lowering his head and digging his teeth into his swollen, abused lip. He whimpered as his mother dragged the cool, stinging metal over his cheek, before grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at her.

"Do you have _any_ idea how hard I work, day in and day out to make money so that your lazy, useless ass can stay here, under _my_ roof?!"

He sniffled. Pressing his lips together, he slowly nodded.

She chuckled in a scoffing manner as another crack could be heard and Sora was blinded for only a splinter of a second by pain.

"Obviously _NOT_!" She screamed as he cowered back to his position at the counter. If he obeyed, maybe the pain would be over sooner and he could see Riku…

No…. Riku couldn't see him like this. He had to force back tears at the thought of it. He didn't know why, but it hurt to think about seeing Riku again. So he didn't. All together he just tried to _stop _thinking.

Despite his efforts, he couldn't help but pray. Pray for himself.

'_Riku…please. Please come save me, Riku. Like you used to always do. Come save me like you used to save me: without even knowing it. Let me see you. That's saving me enough._'

But that wasn't the truth. Sora didn't want any of that, right? He didn't want to see Riku.

He hung his head, squeezing his eyes as tight as possible. Maybe that would dull some of the pain.

'_I want to see you.'_

He tried with all his might to keep from flinching each time the metal came in contact with his raw, stinging hands.

"If your brother were here, he would work harder than _you _do. He would work for his occupancy in this world; unlike you." She scarcely hesitated to continue, "You live day after day knowing that it's _your_ fault they're dead, and yet, you _still_ don't care. You're useless and selfish. Did you know that every night I wish that it would've been you who was there…there in the driver's seat. Then your father still would be here…with me!"

She continued to alternate between his hands and arms as Sora began to hum. Good. Now he couldn't hear her as well. It wasn't fair, though. No matter how hard he wished himself away, he remained there.

'_I can't take it. Only you would understand. Because nobody else will.'_

He was bleeding now, or at least that's what he thought. But he was afraid to look. He couldn't bring himself to open his eyes.

Suddenly, she stopped, and as if on cue, his reluctant lids pried themselves open. Whether he wanted them to or not, they did.

"Did that hurt?" His mother whispered.

Sora was unsure of what to reply as his eyes fell down to the horror of his bloodied, bruising hands and forearms.

He lowered his head further, his attempts of looking at his mother futile, while praying that his spikes could veil his pained expression.

'_Only you.'_

What should he say?

Sora found his mind, as always, racing, playing out consequences of the wrong words, or maybe even the right ones…if such a thing existed.

"_Well?_"

Slowly, he nodded. Just the slightest raise and lower of his head.

"What? I don't understand. Use your words."

He remembered that phrase from when he was a child and he would whine when he wanted something, or make some sort of noise to indicate. Except this time when she said it, of course, her voice was not sweet, nor was it full of encouragement. It was cruel and mocking. The voice of someone who knows that they have won.

Regretting every move and every vibration of his vocal chords that this word would bring him, Sora answered. "Y…yes." His voice was a small, terrified croak from the back of his dried throat.

A grin swept across his mother's lips, overpowering her entire face. Sora could feel her eyes burning through him, staring him down. Watching every rise and fall of his unsure chest as ragged, choked breaths tore through him at an unruly rate.

"Oh really?"

After a long moment of trying to comprehend what she was trying to get at, he nodded again.

He heard the cabinet open with neglect of being closed, but, curious as he was, still could not look at her.

"Then this should toughen you up a bit." Her cold voice stated.

Before Sora had the time to protest, excruciating pain had filled his arms and shot his body out of its numb state.

His mouth fell open into a silent scream as the white mineral continued to invade his wounds and set his skin aflame. Thousands of ants seemed to crawl inside of him; biting anywhere they could set foot. And oh boy, one hell of a bite that was.

Waves of pain exploded through him, throughout his arms, and then they would die away, fizzling into nothing but a dull, half numbed, sting. Before returning, blasting him with a whole new sheet of overwhelming discomfort.

He cried out, his eyes remaining closed. The scream quickly tore through his throat, freeing it of the mucusy flesh. His body throbbed, his temples pounded. All the while, tears cascaded down his cheeks at an unbearable rate.

He stood, lingering around Sora's fence for a minute or two, before finally doing the usual routine. He climbed the wooden wall, pulling himself onto the first story roof and teetering his way down it until he was below Sora's window sill.

He clutched onto the decorative bricks; the kind that protruded from your house. He had never really seen the point to them until now. I mean, they practically screamed, "Teenage boys, I'm your gateway to climbing into this unsuspecting girl's (or in Riku's case, boys) room and banging them!"

He fit his foot into each one; climbing higher and higher with each step, until the pane was within reach and he could grab onto it and safely shimmy inside.

Once his feet were rooted to the blue, plush carpet of Sora's floor, Riku noticed several unusual things upon inspecting the room.

One being that Sora's bed was unmade. This was strange because Sora always made his bed when he got up, for as long as Riku had known him. He was just a neat person. Second being that, oddly enough, Sora didn't seem to be anywhere upstairs. Which, it wasn't like it was a _bad thing_ that he spent time downstairs; it's just that for what seemed to be the last two years, he appeared to take refuge mostly in his own quarters.

But, it was two in the afternoon…. He could be downstairs, eating lunch. That was likely.

The next thing that Riku was most definitely the _strangest_ thing yet: As he stood, frozen in the window way, his blood ran cold through his veins. A scream that could possibly defy the abilities of human vocal chords pierced into him, startling him to the point to which he almost cried out.

But despite his urge to run downstairs to see what in God's name could possibly cause someone to scream like that, a terrible realization washed over him and he found himself unable to move when another scream etched its way into his ear drums.

He knew exactly who that shriek belonged to.

Sora coughed, gurgling on the mixture of mucus, tears, and saliva that had conglomerated in the back of his throat, which had grown raw from screaming.

He gave into exhaustion, falling to his knees, causing the piles of blood-clotted salt to flitter from his hand, spilling onto the marble around them.

He clutched onto the counter's edge, pressing his cheek to the cool cabinet beneath, the feeling was comforting against his swollen cheek.

His mother frowned, grabbing him by his wrist, causing the layer of salt that was stuck to him and soggy from blood, to grind further into him.

"GAAHHHHH!" He cried, as his mother sunk her nails into the revolting concoction of blood, salt and open wounds.

"Now. Tell me if _that_ hurt."

He nodded, biting his lower lip. There was little hesitation to his movements. All he was focused on was getting away. Away from here. Anywhere. To Riku's. He could go to Riku's.

No…. Nobody knew of his and his mother's secret. He could go nowhere until somebody knew…knew about all of this. But as long as he kept these barriers held up around him, nobody _could_ know. I mean, he was still alive, so who needed to know what went on inside of _his house_?

No one.

In a sense, Sora found it to come slightly as a relief. His mother punished him thoroughly enough, therefore, he felt no guilt for what he had caused. He didn't need to feel guilty, because once he was punished; he knew that he would be forgiven.

But, something deep inside of him flickered like an everlasting flame, and no matter how many times he doused it, it would not die. That something was a voice, a sort of soft, challenging voice that simply asked, "How much longer? How much longer can you withstand this? How much longer can you uphold?"

"Here, let me rinse that out." Sora looked up quickly. He hadn't even noticed his mother turn on the kitchen sink and run the water until steam rose from the spout.

He paused for a moment, quite possibly a moment too long, trying to comprehend what his mother was going to do with that steaming water.

His musings were soon answered by a red hot, blindingly horrific pain as scalding water seemed to melt his skin away.

"GAAAAAHHHH! MOOOOMMM!" He wailed, his exhausted, over used throat going back to work, vibrating so fiercely that flecks of mucus tore into his mouth. It hurt, the screaming did. As well as the brutally torturous methods being played out upon his limbs.

His chest hurt, his head hurt, his torn, betrayed heart hurt, he hurt. The world hurt. _Everything_ hurt. And for a moment, just one moment, Sora wished- prayed for his pointless existence to be wiped from this hell, forgotten forever.

His mother scowled before spurting the angrily hot water into his face before turning to the sink and twisting it off.

The brunette stood there, panting, hands still glued to the counter like n obedient dog; face contorted into a look of sickly pain.

After another moment, his mother spoke again, "Get out. Out of my sight. Go. You ungrateful waste of time."

He didn't want to go, though. That was the only problem, He wanted to stay there. He wanted to stay right there. And die.

But, as they say, old habits die hard, and, being the trained animal that he was, Sora hobbled to the foot of the stairs. At least in his room he would be safe.

* * *

_I wanted to keep going but I had to stop! T-T I'll update soon! I promise! But school starts tomorrow! -sob- I don't know...I'll try to post this weekend...Well... We usually don't have homework the first week of school so I guess I'll have time...I can't believe it...I'm going into eighth grade...I'm gonna be at the top .._


	11. Chapter 11

_Wow. _

_Okay yeah. at least it's hella long. _

_Oh yeah and the second part where Roxas comes in is like... Well, it took me a really long time to word so that it wasn't confusing. Sorry if it was! Okay...sorry. I know... I'm a horrible person. I should go to hell for not updating in forever... I had a lot of other stuff that I started to write and school and stuff so I got all sidetracked. :x So just read it. I'm sorry._

_Oh yeah, ps... I'm gonna put a playlist for this story at the bottom of the page... so you can go look before you start reading. If you want... I know that it's kind of stupid to put it like at the end of the story but...whatever. It's the playlist for my ipod that I always listen to while I write this. speaking of which...it's coming to an end. I finally figured out how to wrap it up sooo... This is probably like the second to last chapter or something along those lines... Okay go read for real this time haha._

**Chapter 11**

Riku stood there, dumbstruck, wearing a look of horrified realization. A sick mixture of fear, sympathy, and guilt began to brew in his stomach. He blinked at the doorway and suddenly found his senses to be working. "Sora!" He all but cried out, running forward as a pretty torn up Sora came stumbling inside, wearing a look of utter surprise.

As Riku had expected (he had thought over quite a few different arrays of actions that the brunette would've taken), a quick look of panic crossed Sora's face and he turned to head back the way he came- out the door. "W-wait!" He leaped forward, not quite sure how he was supposed to act, and without thinking, pulled Sora into his chest.

Come to think of it, he hadn't really thought on what he was going to say when Sora came up to his room after receiving what sounded like a brutal beating and seeing him there, either.

So he was silent.

Sora tried to pull away but Riku simply held on tighter, unaware that he could have been hurting the boy.

He was all but clueless on what to do next. A door slammed from downstairs and shortly after a car door. The sound drifted in through the open window. He stumbled blindly backwards, never once allowing his grip on the boy to loosen, until the back of his legs bumped into the softness of Sora's bed. He sat down.

This was it. This was his chance. He had messed everything up and now it was his turn to fix it. But what if Sora didn't want it to be fixed?

Everything was silent except for the sobs occurring randomly from Sora.

It was almost scary how silent everything was otherwise. It was almost as if this island were too calm for their lives. Everything was spinning and spiraling out of control-emotions, feelings, thoughts- while the island remained still…calm…at peace. The waves continued to roll and everyone kept to themselves; behind closed doors. Maybe there were other people whose lives were out of whack. Maybe this was where the end of the line was for them. Maybe this was where people came when they had nothing left.

After a minute, everything that had just happened began to decipher in his brain, each blood curdling scream. It all rolled on in his head. He stared forward, a blank expression occupying his face. He didn't want to look down. He didn't want to look at something he never would've known the real reason for otherwise.

He had always just thought Sora was unnaturally clumsy. Although…. For some time now his mother had been acting different. He had just assumed that she was still in mourning over the wreck. Over Sora's dad. Over the baby that was never born. The one that Sora had told him was going to be named Seth. But how could he have not seen this?

"S-sora…" He whispered weakly, helping the boy crawl into his lap so that they could be facing each other. He didn't feel weird…or even awkward. This seemed to calm Sora in the slightest, his body falling lax against Riku's chest.

Why was everything going so horribly, horribly wrong? It was strange knowing that just days ago he had been sitting in this very room, next to this very bed, sharing a plate of cookies with this very boy who was now sitting on his lap, crying and bleeding.

Time passed quickly on the island.

"Sora," He felt like a broken record, repeating that name over and over. Only each time it became harder and harder to say. "Let me…see…"

The brunette shook his head, chocolate strands tickling his chin. He buried his face deeper in Riku's chest, the tears forming a soggy blotch on the front of his shirt. He let out a breath. "When you're ready."

For honestly no reason that he could name, Riku kissed the top of Sora's head, burying his face in the spikes.

--

Roxas sat up. Axel was gone. Of course he was… Wasn't he always gone the next morning?

He pulled himself out of bed, dry sweat giving his body a sticky coating. His back hurt and he was tired. He forced himself into the bathroom and began to ponder the same thing he always pondered as he prepared for his shower.

Would it hurt as much or less if they were really alive; if they had hearts…if they could love. He didn't know. He didn't quite understand what love was. He didn't really know how people lived with hearts, either. How much pain could one person endure? How long could they last? Was everything different when you actually had a heart? Was everything that happened to us, like falling in love, destiny or just misfortune?

Once again, he didn't know. If you didn't have a heart, could you really count as a person? Did you even _have_ a destiny? He supposed that maybe if he did have a heart, or if he could get a heart, he would know. But he didn't. Maybe there was a reason for that.

So for now he was probably better off without one.

--

It was silent. It had been that way for some time now. Riku pulled Sora gently away from his body. Probably to see the injuries. Flinching, Sora felt a pang of fear serge through his body. He had almost fallen asleep against his chest. And he hardly noticed how fast his heart was beating. And everything else seemed so miniscule. He had acted so rude to Riku the previous night and now here he was, like a loyal puppy, letting Sora lean on him in a time of need. Ugh he was so stupid- and my god they were _so_ close.

No.

He couldn't think like that. It was wrong on so many levels; him liking this. Riku was his best friend and had been for the longest time, but more importantly, he was a _boy_. He didn't like boys.

Either way, he didn't want to show him his wounds. He didn't want to show any_one_ any_thing_. He just wanted to stay there, in Riku's lap, and sleep. But, the dull, irritated throb over his hands and arms told him he should do otherwise.

Finally, after a long moment of silence, he conformed. With the smallest of nods he held his smarting, bloody arms out, not daring to look down for himself.

--

Riku slowly lowered his eyes, trying his best to not let surprise cross his face. It was painful looking, though. It could have been worse but…to think that a mother would do something like this to her only child… _especially_ when her only child was Sora. He was suddenly overcome with a spout of rage. How dare she?! This was sick, wrong…disgusting. Sora needed away from here and he needed it now.

There was another moment of heavy silence between the two and Sora's eyes closed. He apparently wasn't going to look.

Riku let out a wavering sigh. "Come on." He whispered, his eyes tore themselves from the welted, puckered skin that was so red it made his own skin sting, and met Sora's.

The younger boy shook his head rapidly, hair flapping. He knew exactly what Riku was planning. This was what he had feared. This is why no one was supposed to know his secret. They would try to take him away. And, above everything that was forbidden, he couldn't go away. He couldn't leave his mom. A voice deep within his mind whispered something that may have been _"Because no matter what, she'll find you in the end."_ But it was a passing thought, there one moment but gone in a flash.

And, besides, it was nobody's business. He deserved what he got and that was that.

Shaking his head again, he shied away from Riku. He wanted so badly, more than anything, to stay there. But he couldn't. "N…no." His voice was scarcely above a whisper, but the word managed to croak out.

Riku placed a hand on his shoulder, "Sora. Please. You have to get out of here. _Now_. This is _wrong_."

The brunette stood, jerking away from the hand in response. His legs were shaky and felt weak. He felt dizzy from screaming and crying and the emotions that were coursing through him. He locked his eyes with the carpet.

He wasn't going to leave. Riku would have to drag him out- dead.

Panic got the best of him and he shook his pounding head. His temples were throbbing. It felt as if a brick were slamming against the insides of his skull. Like his brain was moving instead of sitting still. He wiped at his face furiously. "Riku," He began. A look that seemed something like frustration, or desperation, or both, crossed the platinum-headed teens face as he rose from his spot on the bed.

He took a step forward, speaking before Sora had a chance to, "Sora! This is insanity-"

"_Shut up!_" The shorter one shook his head frantically, clenching his teeth. "Stay away from me!" His heart began to race and his head began to swim. He was on the verge of having a panic attack. Everything was happening too fast. Where was his mother? When was she coming back?

Riku thrust his arms out in frustration, "_PLEASE!_" The word was shrill and very much unlike him.

"Go home, Riku! This has nothing to do with you!" Words were tumbling out of his mouth. He had to get Riku away from him. He was the enemy this time.

Riku looked taken aback and hurt wavered in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could get anything out he was being screamed at. "_NOW! GO HOME, _RIKU! _STAY THE HELL AWAY!_" His voice was shrill and the desperate emphasis he heard being applied to his own name made his heart feel like it was being squeezed.

While he was still trying to recover from the words, Sora had flung his door open with a '_crack_' as it slammed against the wall. And, before Riku could reach out to restrain him, he had torn down the hall in a frenzy.

--

After that, Riku had been worried but eventually left after hearing bath water running. It scared him. Everything about Sora scared him. He was like a small, little piece of fragile glass that would shatter when hit too hard. But yet, he was so resilient. You could never tell what was going on inside of his head. With age, he had only grown more closed.

--

He opened his eyes. Where was he? That was his first question. He blinked down at the blood-clouded water of his bath. He must have dozed off.

Unplugging the drain, he rested his head on the condensation-slimy wall. "Go home." The words hardly left his mouth, too soft to be heard over the water draining noisily from the tub.

So was this it? He was found out. His secret was no longer a secret. And now, just as expected, Riku was going to try and take him away. He didn't have the energy anymore to even want to run. It seemed that this house was where he would die. He was at the most miserable stage of his life and now he had no one to go to. He was trapped.

When he stood up, his legs were hardly willing to cooperate and he felt dizzy. He had eaten hardly anything in the past few days and the cramps in his stomach were now reminding him of that. He couldn't believe that he had had so many things going on that he hadn't even remembered to eat. It's not like his mother reminded him to. Although, on some days she liked to cook. But she hadn't lately. She was getting worse. And this was probably just the beginning of something that would only go further downhill.

"_He's right. You need away. You need to escape before she breaks you completely." _Again, there one moment but gone in the next. As quick as footprints in the sand being washed away by the waves.

Even now, he had trouble trying to comprehend everything. His injuries weren't the worst of his problems- in fact, they were the least- these weird thoughts and emotions that he was having were. He was used to this physical pain; he had practically grown immune to it within the past few years.

But to know that, not even fifteen hours before, he had kissed his best friend…another boy..._Riku_. Knowing that during that moment- the moment he kissed Riku- that everything had…changed, to say the least. That was his problem.

During that moment, some kind of weird, evil hellfire had been unleashed and was determined to eat him from the inside out until it got what it wanted.

It wanted Riku.

Riku; the same person who knew his secret. The same person that, from here on out, needed to be eliminated.

The thought of it all was just about enough to overwhelm him. He needed to sit down and think. He wanted to run. Away to a place where you didn't have to keep secrets. To a place where he didn't have any more awful memories. To a place where there was no more confusion. To a place where his mother was not.

To a place where Riku was not.

--

When he got to his room, he almost immediately collapsed on his bed. It was late in the afternoon by that time and the pre-sunset light was glaring angrily in between his drapes. He must have had fallen asleep some time ago. He was exhausted and everything on or in his body hurt.

Frowning, he buried his face in the pillow. He probably needed to put some disinfectant on his cuts but for now he didn't really care. He just wanted to sleep. Not to worry or think. Just to sleep.

So he did.

--

Roxas looked at himself in the mirror; really more like staring.

What a strange way to live- to exist but not to _be_. He didn't really understand it. His head always hurt when he thought too much into it. But it was hard not to. What, with all this talk about hearts and how they didn't have feelings- didn't have emotions.

They said you had to have needs in order to _be_.

Well, he had needs. Or…at least he thought he did. He needed food….His stomach growled when he was hungry… He needed…water. His body cried out when he was thirsty. So wouldn't that mean that he could _be_? Because he _did _have needs! He did.

But everyone said that they couldn't _be_. How was that possible? If they had needs, that meant that they _were_. But apparently he wasn't. Apparently none of them _were_.

Augh! It didn't make any sense! He was frustrated.

Maybe it was other things that you had to need in order to _be_. Affection? Kindness? The need to socialize? The need for friends? He _needed_ all of those! So why did everyone say that he could not _be_?!

And then it hit him.

_Love._

You had to need love in order to _be_. He thought he needed love. He thought he felt love. But…but, if he didn't have a heart he couldn't love.

That's why none of them existed. Because in order to _be_ you had to know how to _love_. In order to _love_, you had to have a _heart_. A heart. The one thing that none of them had. So he couldn't _be_ because he couldn't _love_ and. He couldn't love, so he didn't.

It all made sense now…but…he still didn't…didn't understand how he couldn't have a heart. He thought that he felt love! So why didn't he?

The door opened and he jumped and turned to greet the intruder, only to find that it was, of all people, Axel. "Sorry." The redhead said casually, one hand resting on the door frame. Roxas found that he could not speak. Only stare, consumed in thought.

After a long moment of silence, Axel raised an eyebrow as if to say "What are you staring at?" Lingering there for a moment longer, Roxas cocked his head slightly and smiled gently. He hung up his towel and walked out, past him without a word.

It was that man's fault that he could not understand what was going on. That man was the person who made him believe that he _was_.

That he could love.

--

When Sora awoke again, it was still the afternoon. The sun was in the process of setting, spitting dark golden-pink strips of light across the entire island, casting deep shadows over everything.

He hadn't been asleep for long. His head throbbed as he sat up. His bruises still hadn't gone down yet and now he had more to worry about. Sure he was exhausted, but he couldn't sleep. He was so hungry that he could have probably literally eaten a cow.

As he stood, his legs trembled beneath him like brittle twigs. And, more than anything, he wanted to lie down and sleep. But he didn't… he couldn't. There was something else on his mind. It was bothering him.

"_Maybe it's not just hunger that's making your stomach hurt. Maybe it's guilt because you know that for once you're wrong."_

The voice was gone, a passing thought quickly banished to the back of his mind.

He needed to get something to eat to push his energy level up. Then he could do some thinking and maybe sleep for a bit. Cereal sounded good. Peeking out the window down to his driveway and realizing that his mother's car was still gone, he tip toed downstairs, mostly out of habit but a little because he really was afraid.

--

Riku was sitting at the table when the sun had finally begun to set. Today had been an unnaturally long day. The TV was humming softly from the living room, its bright images throwing flashes of illumination about his darkened house. It was the only light on in his entire house, despite the thin threads of burning orange sun that had managed to trickle through the blinds.

But, it was setting. Just as it had been setting 3 days ago, before everything had been cast so wildly out of proportion.

Sighing, he stood up, his chair scraping loudly over the cheap linoleum that was his floor. The frozen dinner wasn't looking too promising anymore. He couldn't order anything, though. A week had passed and his aunt still hadn't come by to bring him money.

Maybe that was why he had…done what he had. His aunt served practically as his own personal counselor. Besides Sora, she was the only person he had left. After the fire, he had sort of lost it. He had pushed most everybody from school away from him. All but Sora, Kairi, and a few others. But even those other people stayed a distance from him.

Sure, Kairi was great, one of the best friends he had ever had, but no one had ever been like Sora. As much as he tried to, he could hardly look at anyone else. He felt much stronger about Sora than he had ever felt towards anyone before. And now Sora was…pushing him away…? He knew that he probably hadn't meant those things that he had said but…what if he _had_?

It wasn't as if he looked at Sora in _that_ way or anything…it was just…just… What _was_ it? He had kissed him, for God's sake. So what in the hell _was _it?

"It's nothing." He said aloud. A nasty habit that he had, talking to himself.

He carried his TV dinner to the microwave and set it inside. He wasn't hungry.

So what if Sora _had_ meant those things? It wasn't like…that big of a deal or anything, he decided. But without Sora…he only had Kairi. Kairi was gone. He still had his aunt… But where was she when he needed her? Not here. She hadn't been by in a week when she usually came by the first chance she had.

He blinked and sudden wave of realization washed over him, crashing into him so hard that his bones seemed to turn to ice. He was alone.

Completely alone.

Everyone was abandoning him and turning their backs on him. Just as his parents had.

His mother was right. You never did realize what you had until you lost it.

He sat back down at the table, suddenly feeling weak. He tried to look on the bright side of things, but it was hard when the whole house was dark and life seemed a little more than hopeless.

So with as little confidence as ever, he stood up and closed the blinds to the window above his window. The same window that had been there for the past two years since he had moved into his own home, away from his grandparent's. Because, in fact, he was tired of looking out at the sunset. Tired of looking out at the ocean. Tired of looking out into Sora's window, hoping to see him looking back.

As he did so, he felt lonelier than ever before in his life. It seemed that Destiny Islands was indeed the place that marked the end of the line. If you were born into it, you were destined for failure and misery.

You were born damned.

--

After his third and a half bowl of Fruit Loops, Sora had begun to grow full. And now, he was left to sit there at his spotless kitchen table, swirling the concoction of milk and bloated, soggy loops around with his spoon.

He stood up, feeling all but sick from the sugary coating that aligned his mouth. It was time to do something. He didn't want to sleep yet. He had been so overwhelmed the past few days that he was rather lost but yet delighted at what to do with all of this breathing time.

Setting his bowl in the sink, he turned on the water and allowed it to run the milk over the rim of the dish until it was a foggy, whitish-translucent liquid. For some odd reason, this reminded him of the beach. That's where he could go…

Minutes later, the dishwasher was running and his shoes were on. A soft chatter emitted from a TV off in his mothers room. It must have been on the entire day. A Forensics station, no doubt.

He decided it would be better to not leave a note.

Silently, he slipped out the front door. It was already past sunset and an almost grey veil of darkness had settled down over the island.

When he was outside the first place he found himself looking was in the direction of Riku's house. It looked so small and far-off.

There was the tree he had been sitting at, enjoying an ice cream with Riku just days ago. But now no one occupied it. There was no open ice cream stand nearby with children lined up to buy the treats. There was no one at all.

When he reached the shore, the familiar smell of sea salt filtered into his nostrils. So he did the only thing he knew to do. He lay down, just hardly out of reach of the tide. The waters seemed never ending. They were like a black pit that would swallow you if you came too close.

The sand was soft and comforting. It was always nice and cool at night. He looked up at the sky. The stars were already out. Hundreds of thousands of them against a purple-blue sky. It was almost scary how fast the sun set on a little island like this. He wondered if any of those other stars were planets. He wondered if, on any of those planets, there was anyone else like him out there. Or maybe even if, somewhere on this planet, there was another little island filled with other hopeless little people who wanted to break away. Just like him and Riku.

These were the types of things he would have wondered about with Riku. But now he was alone, no Riku beside him. He wished he could share this image with him…but he couldn't. He had said horrible things that he could never take back. And now he was alone because of it.

His eyes began to drift closed and the sound of waves crashing against the shore was so loud that it almost scared him. It was frightening how quiet everything was when you were alone. Everywhere else was completely silent, and for the first time in his life, he realized that he had never been lonelier.

--

He wanted to go outside. He was nearly suffocated by the stillness and vaccantness of his house. He felt like the only person left in this big, big world. He left his house, not bothering to turn off the TV or lock the door after him. No one would want to go to the trouble of robbing him.

When Riku stepped outside, the first thing he noticed was how _dark_ the island was. It had almost never been this dark before. Or maybe that was just him. Besides all the blackness, it was nice outside. The air was crisp and light.

He took a walk. At least, if he couldn't have the real Sora, he could go somewhere that reminded him of it. He walked in the direction of the Secret Spot, only out of sheer instinct did he know where he was going.

About half way there, his eyes had begun to adjust. He could spot, and mostly hear, the spring that told him he was close.

Maybe this wasn't the best idea… It was really dark and he wouldn't be able to see anything. He could fall in the springs and drown. Not very likely, though…He would hear them before he fell in… but still.

He turned around so that he was facing the ocean. He could see the tree that they liked to lounge at. He decided that would be a good place to sit. He glanced to his left, unable to help himself. There was Sora's house. Big and looming in the night. The ocean seemed to have a grayish strip hanging over it, a shade lighter than the rest of the sky. Probably city lights from somewhere far off. They were unlucky. Even if the island was where people went to die, at least they had a nice view of the stars before they did.

He reached the tree and situated himself on the low-hanging branch that was big enough to support all of him, Kairi, and Sora at once. Gazing up, he realized just how many stars where out that night. Hundreds upon hundreds of thousands. How gorgeous. It was almost breathtaking. He wanted to show it to Sora. He could see almost every constellation in the sky.

He turned his head to the left, staring out along the shoreline. It went on for a very long time, cut off only by a bridge that led to another little island. His eyes landed on something black and large; maybe even the size of a human, he couldn't tell in the dark. "What in the hell…?" His heart almost stopped. It wasn't any clump of seaweed.

He jumped down from the branch, stumbling in the sand as he did so. He made his way towards it, realizing that it certainly was a human. Were they…dead? What was going on?! As he neared he realized it wasn't just any human. It was a boy…it was…it was- "Sora?!"

_--_

_Running from the Rain - Thursday_

_Breath - Breaking Benjamin_

_I Don't Wanna be in Love - Good Charlotte_

_Into the Ocean - BLue october_

_Stay With You - Goo Goo Dolls_

_Rooftops - Lost Prophets_

_Setting up Sunday - The Meg and Dia Band_

_Kiss me - New Found Glory_

_Best of Me - The Starting Line_

_Headstrong - Trapt_

_Cue the Sun! - Daphne Loves Derby_

_My Beautiful Rescue - This Providence_

_I'd do Anything - Simple Plan (lol I still listen to them)_

_It's About Love - The Medic Droid_

_FSCENE8 - The Medic Droid_

_Keeping up With the Jonses - The Medic Droid_

_Fer Sure - The Medic Droid_

_S3RL FER SURE REMIX - The Medic Droid (Pretty much anything by The Medic Droid... They don't really set the mood...I just LOVELOVELOVE them...and I like listening to them while I write)_

_My Paper Heart - The All-american Rejects_

_Only one - Yellowcard_

_Somewhere Only We Know - Keane_

_Let's Get Married - Archie Star_


End file.
